A Breakup Letter To My iPhone

To my dear iPhone 6,

We’ve been together for 9 months now and we’ve had some great times. From the births of nieces and cousins to awkward adventures in online dating to being dropped on average 3 times a day, we’ve been through it all without a scratch or a crack.

When I first got you, you were already 10 months old, but that didn’t stop me from choosing you. You were so shiny and pretty, and I lost some screen size from my S5, but I didn’t care.

But something’s changed in the last few months. The constant nagging about my storage being full, your battery dying and ditching me when you need it most has become cumbersome. I don’t need a phone when I’m out in the field, but it certainly makes communication easier. And the S5 lasted me an entire weekend on 1 charge.

Asking Siri to do anything other than “call home” or “play Formation by Beyoncé” sometimes provided hilarious moments, but usually left me frustrated and end up having to do things on my own anyway.

A couple weeks ago, a new set of twins moved in, and boy do they look good. The S7 and S7 Edge have almost double your battery capacity, double your storage with the option to add more. I considered upgrading you for a 6S, but I don’t think I can settle anymore. We had a good run, but I’m leaving you.

If you get a better battery or ditch the 16 GB capacity, maybe I’ll come back around. Until then, perhaps you’ll find a new home, or even become friends with Liam.

All the best in the future,



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